I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
