is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
