If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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