Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
