Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
