I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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