What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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