Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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