Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
