would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize