It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
