When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
