im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
