her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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