This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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