I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
two words: eviction party
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
