my sisters under your porch take her home
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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