Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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