Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
