I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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