And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
