i permit you to call me
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
