And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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