this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
