That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
