i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
