So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My vagina is officially offended.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
