We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
