I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
