Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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