talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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