I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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