my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
