I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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