Define "chronic" masturbator.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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