Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
