She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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