i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
operation harelip BJ is a go
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
