I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
this is an emotional support booty call
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
