It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
