Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I smell stomach acid.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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