You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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