the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
