things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
