I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Boobs speak an international language.
I didn't notice because vodka
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
