How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
