actually, I'm a sock model
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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