I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
