So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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