i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
