She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
