I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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