try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
