Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
