hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
