I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
