The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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