dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dicks are not precious.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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