why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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