i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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