Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
