is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
