you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
