Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
