I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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