apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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