I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
