Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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