He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
