R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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