she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
