omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
