worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
